| Mister Mistoffolees
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffolees' conjuring turn
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees!
He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it's gone!
But you find it next week lying out on the lawn
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees!
His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least we all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffolees!
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